36 Weeks Pregnant

How Far Along: 36 weeks,4 days

Maternity Clothes: maxi dresses his past week mostly

Stretchmarks: Way to many!

Sleep:Not enough ever.

Miss Anything: Being able to toast with wine at my aunts wedding this past weekend

Movement: he/she is moving lots and hurting me plenty

Food Cravings: A&W poutine

Anything making you queasy and sick: Heartburn, when i’m in pain.

Gender: Will not know till birth

Labor signs: Braxton hicks, one or two contractions though randomly

Symptoms: Nauseous, swelling, pain in my spine, pain “down there” and some pressure

Engagement ring/ Promise ring: It’s off know sadly, on a necklace around my neck :(

Happy or moody most of the time: Overwhelmed

Looking forward in the next week: setting up crib

Best Moment this week: everyone at my aunts wedding feeling the baby kick

35 Week Pregnancy Update!

35 weeks, 35 days till due date!

35 weeks, 35 days till due date!

How Far Along: 35 weeks today

Maternity Clothes: Maternity leggings and long tops

Stretchmarks: Way to many!

Sleep: A difficulty, I try to sleep and might be tired, then one of two things happen, heartburn or baby has hiccups.

Miss Anything: Energy. I’ve gained weight and my body is not use to this extra weight and I get tired and in pain quickly.

Movement: Average.

Food Cravings: Chocolate milk and watermelon.

Anything making you queasy and sick: Heartburn.

Gender: Will not know till birth

Labor signs: Braxton hicks, some shooting pains but Dr. says it’s just practice.

Symptoms: Nauseous, swelling, pain in my spine, pain “down there” and some pressure

Engagement ring/ Promise ring: It’s off know sadly, on a necklace around my neck :(

Happy or moody most of the time: Overwhelmed

Looking forward in the next week: Just finishing things up with names and random stuff.

Best Moment this week: I was able to get amazing photos of Michael and baby bump!

Gaining My Pregnancy Weight

By no means was I tiny before I found out I was pregnant, but weight was one of the biggest struggles during this pregnancy, and will stay a big struggle after this pregnancy. What my readers will not know is that just two weeks before I saw those two positive pink lines on that pregnancy test, I was finally diagnosed with an eating disorder, after struggling with one in some shape or form since childhood. Be it binging, purging, restricting my diet, over exercising, counting calories, in some shape or form since before I was a pre-teen I have had issues with my weight and I have negatively dealt with me thinking I had those issues.

Healthy Pregnancy Weight Gain Chart

Healthy Pregnancy Weight Gain Chart

I ended up gaining more weight then normal quickly during this pregnancy then average due to the fact that before I found out I was pregnant I was barely eating one full meal a day, and was always purging that meal also. I was taking as much natural sources of metabolism boosters, and I was only drinking zero calorie pops and water. Going from one meal a day, to three meals a day, and after awhile allowing myself a snack also, and allowing myself to drink things that contained calories was a shock to my body, and made me (I believe) balloon rapidly. Even though I gained more at the beginning of my pregnancy I am still below the allowed healthy weight gain during pregnancy (the amount of weight gain that you can gain during pregnancy and it still be refereed to as “healthy”)  and only have little over a month to go!

Of course I have been struggling with the weight gain, physically and mentally. I have not been this high weight ever in my life, and my body has been having issues dealing with the weight gain, my biggest issue is repeatedly pulling muscles either in my back or around my hips, and I sadly have had my knees buckle a few times while walking.

Mentally it has been hard because of my years of untreated mental negativity to my weight. (By no means do I believe one is not beautiful at any weight, whatever you weigh I think someone is beautiful, but my mind gives ME different criteria for me to be beautiful) Honestly I have had times where I want to just not eat that day, days I want to go and spend more then a couple of hours on the elliptical, days I want to purge, but I have stopped myself. Having this child has helped me remember I have to feed my baby, I have to remember that I must give this baby the nutrients it needs to grow and be healthy once it is born. I have had issues the past couple of months of having nutrients go not just to the baby but still have some left for myself but I have been working towards mentally learning that and remembering that daily.

I know I will be having issues with this weight gain after birth. I’ve found recovery easy because I have a constant reminder to eat, to give baby nutrients, and I must remember that the only way I am able to breastfeed is if I give my body enough nutrients to produce milk. Luckily because I finally opened up about my fear of recovery after birth I will be able to see a dietician regularly for the rest of the pregnancy and after the birth, which will be a support that I have needed for years, and I am finally relieved to have that support.

Have you had struggles with weight gain during pregnancy? was it mental struggles or physical?

34 Weeks Pregnant Update

24 weeks!

34 weeks!

How Far Along: I am 34 weeks today!

Maternity Clothes: Baggy t-shirts and pajama shorts, and if I’m going out dresses.

Stretchmarks: Plenty, and some new one’s around the top of my belly button.

Sleep: What is this thing you speak of? I can’t get comfy, whenever I try to sleep braxton hicks contractions starts, or morning sickness happens (i’m the lucky one that has morning sickness return during the third trimester)

Miss Anything: Being able to actually stand in a shower,my legs are so weak right know.

Movement: plenty! gosh little one is practicing to be a ninja or something

Food Cravings: Mcdonalds french fries dipped in peanut butter!

Anything making you queasy and sick: honestly It just randomly happens.

Gender: Will not know till birth

Labor signs: Braxton hicks everyday

Symptoms: Nauseous, swelling, pain in my spine.

Engagement ring/ Promise ring: It’s off know sadly, on a necklace around my neck :(

Happy or moody most of the time: This past week I have been slightly in a depressed mood honestly.

Looking forward in the next week: We still haven’t fully solidified the names, which we will do this week!

Best Moment this week: Michael felt the baby have hiccups! 

Pre-admit and Maternity Ward Tour

Today Michael and I finally were able to take a tour of the maternity ward in the hospital I will be birthing in. We were also able to have a pre-admittance appointment so that we did not need to fill out plenty of paperwork when I am going into labor.

Some of the questions were easy, my past medical history, if there was any religious ceremonies that would be taking place, if we planned on breastfeeding (which I am) but I did honestly have some hard issues while answering the questions. I had to bring up some of my past mental health issues due to it might causing issues during birth (past domestic abuse as a teenager) and I had to bring up my issue with eating, and my diagnosis of an eating disorder. Luckily Michael was there because I did almost break down and cry, but Michael held my hand, rubbed my back and let me know I am now safe, and I can do this. Luckily due to speaking about my mental health issues, I am able to speak to a dietitian during the rest of my pregnancy and for after birth so that I am making sure i’m getting enough nutrients so that I am able to breastfeed.

We went through some basic things, like the epidural (which I’m still not positive if I will be having one, I am terrified of the needle going in while I’m having a contraction, and I am not sure I would like being confined to the bed once I have the epidural) we also spoke about what Michael can do during the labor, spoke about how he wishes to cut the cord, how he worries about seeing me in pain (which I think is actually very sweet and shows how much he loves me.)

After all the tough questions, we finally were able to take the tour of the maternity ward, which I was most looking forward to due to me knowing that if we didn’t have the tour we would be way to nervous and overwhelmed the day of the labor. We took the elevator to the fourth floor, where the whole labor and delivery, the NICU ward, and the ward where I will be admitted to recover from birth is. We were shown were to go if I am feeling like I am in labor, the area were the nurses will see if I am actually in labor or just having a “practice” birth.

We then were brought into an unused labor room (which I sadly forgot to get pictures of, i’m sorry!) All the rooms actually have large wall to wall windows, that has a beautiful view of trees, and a skyline of buildings also. It actually is very calming to look at so I’m happy I have that to look at while I’m going through contractions. It was actually a bigger room then I thought it would be, with two comfy chairs and a three seat couch which I’m happy about so that if I go into labor later people (ie. Michael, my parents) are able to rest and sit down in comfy seats while were waiting. Then we saw the washroom, of course it’s large, but EVERY room actually has a large bath with jets in it, which I will definitely be bringing my bathing suit so that I am able to have a bath to help calm me during contractions and such. I am very impressed with the labor rooms, and am very happy they are bright, cheerful, and bigger then needed.

We were unable to see the recovery rooms where myself and the baby will be in after the birth (and yes I made sure that we WILL be having our baby in the room with us after the birth, and our child will be with us at all times) There are 42 beds for mothers, and beds for babies, and I guess there has been a lot of deliveries going on the past couple of days, and there was no rooms open that we could tour. But I’m sure they are big enough, comfy enough and perfectly good enough. We were also shown where the NICU is, which was needed to see just due to the issues Michael had when he was born so I wanted to make sure we knew that area just in case.

I was very happy knowing how up to date and cheerful the maternity ward is, it was redone and moved to our hospital (instead of disjointed and in it’s own building) within the past two years actually. I am more nervous partially because I know now everything is real, and within 4-8 weeks we will be having our child. But I am also calmed knowing where we will be going, everything is set paperwork wise, and knowing the maternity ward knows me now, and I am not a stranger to them anymore.

Watching Little Blessing Move

It’s one of those things that can make me stop, no matter what I’m doing, may it be cooking, cleaning, walking around the grocery store, or just lounging on the balcony with Michael, I automatically stop and just watch little blessing moving around in there.

Blessing curling up on my right side!

Blessing curling up on my right side!

It’s such a big plus of pregnancy, being able to see your child in a sense while you are pregnant. You are able to see they are comfortable in there (or not and making themselves comfortable) you are able to feel and see if they like or dislike something, like when we had the fire in our apartment building and all the fire trucks were loud I was able to see little blessing moving around like a ninja for quite some time (I think the fire trucks woke him/her up and it definitely didn’t like that!) Or when the Canada day fireworks were happening, and there again were little blessings ninja kicks.

One of my favorite things is to talk to little blessing when he or she is moving around alot. I worry that little one is just worried or something and that’s why it’s moving so I like to try and calm her/him down with talking in a soft tone, telling little blessing about the new apartment, about how we will be decorating the nursery, how I can’t wait when they arrive and I can lay on the ground with him/her and play with it for tummy time, or I can’t wait to see daddy play with little one. I also love talking when I know the babies moving a lot and then I know blessing is awake.

While watching baby move, I also love when the baby stays and makes my stomach lopsided or in a weird shape, I think it’s sweet that he/she doesn’t matter it want’s to be comfy no matter what! I also love it because it’s easier to see the outline of the baby. You can see this in the photo above, where the baby is on the right side of my stomach.

Do you like watching baby move? Did it freak you out at first/still freaks you out?  

32 Weeks Pregnant Update!

32 Weeks

32 Weeks

How Far Along: I am 32 weeks today

Maternity Clothes: I am mostly wearing long shirts, or dresses, It’s way to hot!

Stretchmarks: I don’t see any new one’s from last week, which is good!

Sleep: Not very good, I get to sleep past midnight since I don’t fully feel tired, and when I get to bed I can’t find anywhere comfortable, and it’s hard to breath.

Miss Anything: I’ve been feeling negative about my weight yet again this week, but that’s about it.

Movement: There is plenty, and I can see little blessing moving around more, and have him/her butt sticking out.

Food Cravings:Just lemonade still, and Ice.

Anything making you queasy and sick: I think it’s just heat making me queasy right know.

Gender: Will not know till birth

Labor signs: Random braxton hicks

Symptoms: Breathing hard due to organs having less room, and feet swelling.

Engagement ring/ Promise ring: It’s off know sadly, on a necklace around my neck 😦

Happy or moody most of the time: I flip flop my emotions, I think it might be the heat mostly though

Looking forward in the next week: We have a tour of the maternity ward this coming Wednesday, Michael and I are both excited for that!

Best Moment this week: Just having all the questions this week from family about my pregnancy.