My First Mothers Day

It was the first Mothers day that I woke up, and I was actually being celebrated, I was along with all the other mothers around the world were being praised for all they do their daily lives to remind there children they are loved, safe, and cared for. It is the greatest experience and a rite of passage for a new mother.

It’s not the gifts or the praise, of course Lily is to small to understand what the day is for, or make any noise that could even be mistaken for “Thank you” but it was an amazing day all the same. I spent the day with my daughter imagining all the years to come, the pasta artwork, the finger paintings, the flowers picked from a garden that one was not suppose to pick. I can not wait for the long cuddles and the proud look upon her face when she hands me something homemade to say happy mothers day.

On mothers day I spent most of the day at our apartment with Lily, after Michael gave me his gift for me, a bouquet of roses. I spent the day playing with Lily, reading books, and having her play and be amazed by the light from her kid flashlight. Someone spent the day a little cranky though since she chose not to have a morning or early afternoon nap, so that was a little bump in the road.

Later that evening around supper time my father picked us up and we went back to my parents home, where we were surprised that my sister and her husband were visiting, they loving playing with Lily on the ground and she loves her aunt and uncle so that was sweet to watch, we had a great dinner then we all opened presents. My sister as of yet is not a mother (cross my fingers) but I gave her a card to let her know that when she is she will be the greatest mother in the world, she also was given an “auntie” coffee mug. My mother was given her flowers, chocolate bar and other gifts also.

My mothers flowers and favorite chocolate bar gift.

My mothers flowers and favorite chocolate bar gift.

I was amazed though at all the gifts that were given to me. I was not expecting much at all a nice gift, more flowers maybe, but I was pleasantly surprised. I was given gifts from my sister, also , “gifts from Lily” my mother says, and a gift from my parents.

My gifts for Mothers Day excluding my roses.

My gifts for Mothers Day excluding my roses.

From my sister I was given a book to read to my daughter (The Love In My Heart) and barbecue sauce which I fell in love with when we had it at her Easter Sunday supper. Gifts my mother says “Lily whispered into my ear to get these for you” where another book to read to Lily (I Love You Mommy), my first mom tea/coffee mug (and yes there is coffee in it during this photo) and the picture frame and ink to take Lily’s foot or hand prints (we did her footprint last night) and then from my mother and father I was given a new Chicken Soup For The Soul book, which I love there books so I can not wait to start reading it.

I know mothers day is not about the gifts, it’s about loving your children and spending time with your family, and it’s about realizing yourself how much you really do for your family and letting others maybe take over a few things that day and giving yourself some relaxation, even if it’s only a few minutes. I do appreciate the gifts though, I have not bought myself anything unless it’s much needed since months before Lily was born and it was nice to get things that I didn’t fully need, but wanted.

I want to say thank you to my own mother for making my first Mothers day amazing, I want to thank my sister and father and brother in law also, and Michael and I would like to thank all the other mothers out there, and I hope you also had an amazing Mothers Day.


Relaxation Night

On Friday my mother came over and picked up Lily for the weekend, she’s coming home on Monday as much as its obvious I love my daughter the break is welcomed. I’ve been having issues with my back and neck and have pulled a few muscles simply due to bending over and picking up a baby almost hourly, also I have been stressing a lot lately, making sure I can give Lily an amazing first Christmas, me worrying about money (no matter if I do have enough money I still stress about spending money, money is one of my biggest issues in terms of stress) On top of those stresses I have a psychiatrist appointment on Monday which I have yet to have a psychiatrist appointment since May or so, so I’m stressed out about that, and the fact that even though I have the chance to sleep at night my insomnia kicks in at night when I can sleep and when I’m not able to sleep (ex. when I’m taking care of Lily) I am exhausted.

Yesterday I spent the morning watching documentaries with Michael and sitting and talking with him which we haven’t been able to sit down and talk for awhile so it was nice, we talked about religion and our stresses and we talked about Christmas. Michael and I also went for a quick walk around yesterday afternoon while it was snowing out, it was beautiful and sweet. I spent most of the rest of the day cleaning up our apartment, and our kitchen doing a lot of dishes (I’m not going to lie, I’ve been slacking this past week with cleaning) and running after Kier because he’s been sick multiple times today sadly.

Last night though was my relaxation time. After calling my parents house to check in on Lily and just to hear her in the background I made myself a bath and put in some lavender bubble bath and I just lay in the water. I haven’t had a bath in months so it was nice to give myself that treat. I loved the relaxing affects of the smell of lavender one of the most calming things for myself honestly so the scent helped ease my tension and stress.

When I got out of the bath I put on great smelling body lotion then sat down and painted my nails, something I don’t normally do, but I decided to see if it would be a nice treat to myself, and I actually feel kind of pretty having my nails painted a deep red/purple color.

The best way though that I relaxed last night was my all time favorite thing to do, a great cup of tea. Tea is one thing I have treated myself with for the past two years. It’s one of the only things I accept spending money on for myself. I love all the different flavors and I love trying new flavors. Last night I drank a tea I have left over from last years autumn collection from DavidsTea, Pumpkin Chai. I will make sure to write up my review soon. IMG_2882

How do you relax? What are your favorite things to do when you have free time?

Happy Birthday Michael!

Happy birthday to the man I love so dearly!

I am so excited to spend the day making this birthday for Michael so amazing, I sadly was unable to spend his last birthday with him and I will be making sure this birthday is the most amazing he’s had in years.

I’m making him his favorite recipe of mine, my personal recipe for my secret honey mustard chicken pita’s that he asks me to make almost weekly, He hasn’t had them in awhile so i’m glad to give him his favorite.

For dessert Michael is true to his heart and goes against the norm of having a birthday cake, he’s choosing something that proves he’s perfect for me and my love of pumpkin pie, yes after asking Michael what type of cake he wishes to have for his birthday he turned to me and told me “nope I want a pumpkin pie” so be it I will gladly have a pumpkin pie, candles would fit perfectly in that pie!

I’m making him a birthday banner when he sleeps today a “Happy Birthday Daddy” banner to help bring Lily into the birthday, of course she wishes her father an amazing birthday and she wants to let Daddy know it.

I’m so excited to give Michael his presents, I feel great about the presents I bought for him, and especially the card I found for him, is it not amazing when you find a card that says everything you wish to say, and then once you sit down to sign that card you are able to think of even more amazing things to add to the beautiful words already printed in the card?

So, happy birthday my soulmate, I love you so and wish you a great and amazing birthday, and another great year of life filled with more joy, more smiles, more positivity, and more laughter.

The Perfect Way To Wake Up

I have been lucky enough to have Michael, and him decide and take over the night shift for taking care of Lily. I go to bed around 10pm or so and I get to sleep and have a break until 7 am when I need to get up and take over my shift (unless Michael gives me a good day and takes over for an extra hour) I’ve never been a good sleeper, I constantly either have an issue with either getting to sleep or staying asleep which has gotten worse since I wake up whenever Lily cries no matter if it’s my time to take care of her or not, and at first it would take me close to 30 minutes just to return to sleep, the first few weeks returning home after spending some time at my parents house we realized I was getting less then four hours of sleep a night and I have issues with napping during the day (once I’m up and out of bed, I’m up for the day) and finally Michael noticed how much of a stress and issue I was having and took over night shift, which I’m so proud of and appreciate him understanding and helping me.

I was grumpy for another week simply trying to get back into yet another quick change of routine, until about a couple weeks ago and I realized I have the best way to wake up, I spend a night sleeping, refreshing after a good meal and some of my favorite shows, and then I get to wake up to a beautiful daughter who normally has a slow start also but is grumpy about it being morning and another day. After a couple of tickles to her nose Lily has huge smiles, and I then get to hold her, while I make Lily happy Michael makes me my morning small cup of flavored coffee, and I lie down to breastfeed Lily which I have found is the easiest way to feed her in the morning since she will feed for half an hour and fall asleep, then I can move over, lie on my back with her on my chest and I get to have morning cuddles, with a calm, full baby while I drink my (now cold) coffee (Which is ok with me if it is flavored, and if it was hot I wouldn’t want to drink it while holding Lily just in case I spill)

Having issues with sleeping over half my life I have never had a good morning, unless I have something special to look forward to that day, I don’t want to get out of bed, which has always gotten worse as the days get colder due to winter since you just don’t want to take those blankets off to get up into the cold air…But when you have a boyfriend that will make your coffee, and a baby smiling up at you each morning it makes the day so much easier, and starts the day on such a positive note.

Remembering The Little Moments

Even though I have been struggling this past week, dealing with stress, asking for help instead of doing everything myself, and my eating disorder I have been able to keep positive at moments because I am looking towards the little moments that are going on daily that remind me that the simple things in life add up to a good day, and a happy life.

Late at night on Wednesday Michael definitely made me remember to smile, as a joke he decided to have me shut my eyes and tilt my head back while I was in the kitchen,and even though I was skeptical, I trusted him and new it at least had something to do with food…and that’s when he squirted whipped cream all over my face and hair! Well I wasn’t going to just accept that and I started pulling the whip cream out of my hair and rubbing it onto his head. We ran around the apartment, dripping whip cream onto the carpet, all over the tiled floors, I mean everywhere! It was fun just acting like a kid again and doing it with my love made it even more fun!

Big Peach and Baby Photobomb!

Big Peach and Baby Photobomb!

If you know me you would understand how much I love peaches, I mean I don’t just like the taste of fresh peaches, I love juice, I add it to barbecue sauce for a marinade, I love peach tea, I love the scent, I even love the look of peaches! (I’ve been attempting to sketch a peach perfectly so that I’m ready to paint one soon) and this past week I was so excited because I found the BIGGEST peach I have ever seen.  I was so excited and couldn’t wait for breakfast the next day to eat it, and when I bit into it oh goodness it was so juicy and so sweet! Best fruit purchase of the summer!

Of Course I can’t overlook the cute and sweet things Kier (our cat) does, and how he always makes me smile some way during the day because of how random he is. This past week I was able to capture a photo of Michael and Kier talking (Michael talking and Kier meowing in return) but the photo does not do the moment justice. Kier was sitting on the top of the chair and while talking to Michael he kept moving around so that he could rub his head on Michael and it was sweet because he kept slipping (he was not hurt, he didn’t fall no worries) it was the perfect thing to watch just before I got ready for bed.

Michael And Kier

Michael And Kier

This past week Michael woke me up unexpectedly, I hadn’t set my alarm due to not having anything planned for the day, so him waking me up earlier then I planned was surprising.  What was more surprising was that Michael pulled me out of bed and brought me into the living room…where a love song was playing full blast and he grabbed my hand and we slow danced. It was so unexpected, and the best wake up call I have ever had.

So all in all I must remember that even though I have been struggling there are things in my everyday life that happen to remind me that my life is filled with simple pleasures, filled with love and if I just take a deep breath I will remember my life is a great life.

My Aunts Bridal Shower

Boy has this year been, and will be filled with a lot of showers, from my cousins baby shower, my future baby shower, and finally yesterdays beautiful bridal shower for my aunt, my mothers sister.



I stayed over at my parents house Friday night so I was able to help my mother make finger sandwiches, cut fruit, and watermelon for the watermelon limeade. We also made my first mixed tea, which we then chilled to make homemade ice tea that tasted amazing, and I will be posting about soon. We then woke up bright and early to finish all the food, and then transport to our church were we were holding the shower. We decorated with red accents and got everything set.

I was so happy to see my aunt have her time to shine, and I loved seeing her so happy. She was given gifts that were meant for her, great spices, cookbooks, gifts that refereed to family jokes which made all of us laugh.

Homemade ice tea!

Homemade ice tea!

We had plenty to eat with sweet squares, plenty of savory and sweet dips, vegetables, wonderful baked breads, finger sandwiches, cupcakes made by my cousin, and of course the punch and ice tea, which happily everyone raved about the tea!

I’m so happy to share these moments with my family. I haven’t been to many of these occasions, mostly due to not many having happened yet in my family, but also because of my anxiety has caused me to miss out on some family occasions. I am so happy to be able to handle these occasions yet again after many years. I am happy to be able to see the joy in my families eyes when we all get together.

Congratulations Aunt Shirley, I can not wait for your wedding next month, and see you walk down that aisle as gorgeous as always, plus a little extra sparkle on your day of course ❤

Our First Fire

No worries, no one was hurt, and nothing was damaged but this past Thursday at around 11:30 our apartment buildings fire alarm blasted through our hallways and our apartment. Michael and I, including a frightened Kier (our cat if you are un aware) were shocked. This was the first fire alarm i’ve ever been through that wasn’t because of school. Luckily Michael and I were not yet ready for bed, and luckily I didn’t grab the shower before sleeping like I was just getting into when the alarm started.

Michael and I quickly grabbed our essentials and we went into our hallway were we were hit with a smell that smelt something like burning plastic…and there on the ceiling was a thin layer of smoke. We quickly ran down the six flights of stairs (with Michael’s help since it was hard on my legs after two walks that day, and swollen feet) and was hit with a stronger smell and a lot more smoke on the main floor of our apartment, Michael made sure to hold my hand and made sure I didn’t breath in to much smoke (luckily I held my breath through most of the smoke) Michael ended up helping some of the other tenants,and neighbors, those that were older and others that were trying to carry and also calm down there pets at the same time.

Michael and I found a spot far enough away from the smoke, but close enough still that we were not in the main parking lot. That’s when we heard the loud noises of fire trucks, three to be exact, and a police car which was later followed by another police cruiser, then the fire inspector.

Quickly fans were brought in, and the water started to pump, the fire inspector was writing things down, and the police were trying to push back a few people that just kept asking over and over what was going on.

Luckily around 12:15 we were allowed back into the apartment and found out a fire started and was contained in the garbage room. No one was hurt thankfully, and no major damage happened other then a little water damage.

I was in shocked mode the whole time. Like I said I have only been through fire drills back in elementary and high school, and I have never been through a real fire, other then small ones in the kitchen that didn’t even need a fire extinguisher. Michael was very helpful calming me down, and trying to help me calm down the ninja baby that was freaking out inside me due to all the loud noises, and due to my heartbeat rising quickly with shock and worry. I have to say it was an eventful evening, and I’m glad I have gone through a “first” of my first fire drill knowing that I won’t be as worried so quickly and in shock mode next time since I have been through it before, which is a good thing if it God forbid happens again once we have little blessing.