Why I Wish To Co-Sleep But Cant

This post can be controversial, where I would love to hear your opinions, I DO NOT wish to have negative judgment, I will not accept it, thank you. 

These days some people hear about co-sleeping and automatically think it’s some crazy hippie fad. Honestly though if you look back in history, or even look around the world it’s more the norm to co-sleep then it is to have your child in a crib. In some place’s it’s not normal to have a crib, it’s a luxury.

When I found out I was pregnant, I started doing research, what type of parenting style did I want to give my child? I learned about tiger parenting, and the most interesting in my books, attachment parenting. I’ll write later about some things about attachment parenting, but I wish to write about one aspect that most attachment parent’s follow, co-sleeping.

Co-sleeping is the practice of babies and young children sleeping in the same bed as there parents apposed to sleeping in there own room, or own crib.

I really wanted to try co-sleeping, I thought it was a great idea, I could be close to her so I wouldn’t worry about missing her cries, I could easily comfort her, I wouldn’t really wake her up if she had gotten to sleep and then I would have to get up and put her in her crib which could wake her up, and easiest? if she woke up at night for a feed I could easily lie down and breastfeed her to sleep.

But my dreams of co-sleeping was quickly crushed. I’m not a good sleeper. I move around a lot, I kick, I throw my elbows around, I wake up sometimes thrashing from nightmares of past abuse. I’ve woken up at times and in the night really hurt Michael because I kicked so hard. I’m not the greatest sleep partner honestly. Another reason was due to all my moving around our double sized bed is just not big enough at all, plenty of bickers between me and Michael are caused by one or the other being on the other persons “side”

Amazingly even after explaining my reasoning before on my Tumblr page I got two messages telling me I’m being rude and not a true “attachment parent” if I really cared about my daughter I would sleep with her and give her the comfort of her sleeping in the same bed with warmth from both her mother and father. At first I was so shocked, and a little angry about the message’s. I’m not sleeping in the same bed with my child because I DO care about her, I’ve hurt my boyfriend sleeping with him why would I take the chance and sleep in the same bed with my daughter and have the possibility of hurting her also? I give Lily plenty of comfort during the day and while she’s awake and give her comfort in other ways while she sleeps, I hold her as she sleeps at least an hour a day before I get up to clean up our apartment so she has a clean home. And yes I’m not a full “attachment parent” but I try to give as much as I can in that form of parenting style, I use a baby carrier as much as possible (I’m sorry but i’m not going to walk to a grocery store to buy $50 worth of groceries and try to carry her and carry the groceries myself) and I breastfeed as much as I possibly can without forcing myself through pain, or not giving her enough food (My supply has run lower at times)

So yes I dream of co-sleeping and following the way of attachment parenting but I’m a mother, I have to take care of my child, not conform to a strict way of parenting. I do my best and I choose that it is not safe for my child to sleep in MY bed, yes other’s are lucky enough to be able to co-sleep, but I’m not a mother that is lucky enough in that aspect, but I give my daughter more in return to make up for it.

Do you co-sleep? What are your opinions on co-sleeping? 


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